Facebook deactivation: day 5

To me he said mama
Tap tap tap
Mama
In distraction I shooed
Another tap, oh, yes?
Mama, come play
Feigned busyness responds
Oh soon, not just yet
Run along
I'll be along soon

To me he said mama
As I sit stoically staring
I turned to look him
Quietly in the eyes
Yes?
Mama, come play
Deep into browns I pondered
My answer
No I said softly
He turned away

Would this gut wrenching scene
Be false
But is played out time and again
Only worse
Against my God
Who asks of me
To sit with Him
And in response
Without distraction
I decline

Today I feel like I'm becoming more aware of my spiritual surroundings.
I also am learning this lesson:
The Lord desires obedience, not sacrifice.
I can sacrifice fb but it still doesn't get to the heart. It's one less huge distraction but it's absence doesn't help me anymore to sit in the presence of God and commune with Him. The only thing that does that is obedience. It's strange to realize  that the heart of the matter is still my heart. Even in the quiet I have to willfully and obediently invite God in.

to Kairos (Nov 2014): Bites of Brownies & Sacrifice

This weekend I was scheduled to bake for Kairos Quest. Normally I would have grabbed a baked good from the store (being pregnant, 3 little kids and lots of Sunday responsibilities makes weekend baking difficult) but due to our family's ever growing dietary restrictions, baking from scratch is our best bet. As I stood over the stove, shifting my weight from right to left and willing the baking chocolate to melt faster, thoughts of mothers and fathers thousands of years ago began to play in my mind. 

How many pregnant women with full and bustling lives and less amenities to make life happen had spent their time preparing offerings to The Lord from the best their kitchens had to offer? There IS something to the sacrifice. The giving of your time, your money, your skill your best. And even still, God is looking for this heart condition: O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you have no delight in sacrifice; if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken an contrite heart, o God, you will not despise. 

I have been thinking on this passage for a couple of weeks now. I prayed for myself yesterday to bake with a joyful heart, despite what would not get done around our home. I prayed for each little mouth that would bite into these brownies, that they would hopefully enjoy the taste of gluten free healthiness 😬, but most of all that they'd feel a sense of Gods love and get to encounter Him at our worship gathering. I prayed for our volunteers and our teachers and for future volunteers as well. And I prayed for all of you coming tonight, that the heart condition would be what matters most, for it is what makes the most of any encounter with God, be it prayer, worship, serving, or actively listening to the message. 

❤