Showing posts with label prose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prose. Show all posts

Friday, July 24, 2015

weather watchers



for my mama, thank you for teaching me to see our home through your eyes

my family, on my mother's side, we are weather watchers. we storm chase with the best of them. straining daily to see spun cotton in the timeless desert blue. we are loyal to the chance of rain the way my father remains loyal to the team. talking statistics and that one great snowfall years ago.

i am teaching the art to my daughters. we don't use words like nimbus or cumulus, but we've come to know them. we can anticipate their moods. this farmers' intuition, traveling across time and land from beyond our southmost borders, to the adobe walls that framed my mother's days. weather wisdom passed down through my grandfather. see him there tending to the cherry trees.

come and listen.

there's the wispy and wizened tendrils of hair-clouds that stretch across fall to early spring. in this hemisphere, the sky looks colder than she actually feels.

in the mornings, we check west. if ocean-wave-clouds possessively hover over that mountain range, we know. it's the calm before the wind storm. the unrelenting wind that has italicized our trees.

sometimes a flock of clouds migrate across our large expanse of sky; the shape shifters. the ones whom reflect what the imagination projects. the ones the children love.

we hit and miss with thunder-clouds. for them, we look east. the gang gathers together, imposing, dark and roaring. yet despite their day-long agitation, patience strained by blistering sun, they can be dissuaded. western winds breathe deep, then blow. dismayed, their temper cools. below the eastern deck sulkily they return.

but sometimes, the humid stress compounds. the gang refuses to disarm. it's Westside Story played out in the skies! these are the best of times, and the girls and i and my mother and sisters are ringside, anticipating the fight. the sharks and the jets begin their dance, round and round the ring on tippy toes, sinews flexed and ready. when suddenly the tense calm erupts. the clash! the rumble! bernstein would be proud!

i have come to realize our scrappy brawls pale in comparison to the heavy weight fights of the further east, but for us, it is five-star entertainment all the same.

...this drought. it beckons the imposters. lock-jawed and tightfisted, they tease across the sky.  their saunter invites onlookers but don't be taken in. precipitate they will not. no sense wasting hope or time.

a desert's thirst is rarely quenched, but to withhold even a drop this long has cracked our lips and dried our imaginations. we cry out over days and weeks and months and years. and God will send them, though we know not when. and they will come. in phalanx formation they will block the circle of the sun.  they will fill in the valley gap. and they will rain. and they will snow. grace-filled clouds...our relief. and our landscape will be transformed! her capabilities and ours regenerated from sight to sound to smell to taste!

it is with any of these characters, A-list or not, will give a stellar performance come sundown. there is no equating what pictures in our skies when the colors begin to mingle on the clouds and on the earth. our sunset filter. unparalleled beauty.

we live about as far west as you can go on this great northern continent, our sky lives above a patch of sandy ocean-less soil. our concrete river and man made pond often lack the reserve to fill our sky and yet-

the clouds, they've been as faithful to my family as we have to them. our unobtrusive mediator, our common denominator. maybe they will become the same to you.

for one but has to ask, what's the weather? to unite our gaze upward and beyond.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Christ In Me

in my huddle (a group of people committed to learning to live as Jesus lived) thinking about invitation and challenge, areas you are balanced or need to balance out. the question was posed, how is your family perceived.

one lady mentioned that she noticed she wasn't a homeschooling mom and therefore felt a sense of challenge, maybe internally

is that the kind of challenge i'm putting forth?

oh you don't eat healthy? oh you don't homeschool? oh you don't go to Kairos? challenge challenge challenge

let him who boasts boast about this, that he knows and understands Me

Christ in me Christ in me Christ in me the hope of glory You are everything

challenge does not mean, look at me and see where you fall short. invitation does not mean, come to me because i have all your answers and can help you or fix you or i'm perfect and learn from me.

let me be challenging because of Christ in me

that what you are challenged on in your own life has nothing to do with my perceived good works or good choices or healthy habits, but Jesus in me calling out to You. your life being challenged by the existence of a very real God who i have a personal relationship with that is calling out to have a relationship with You. to come into right standing with Him

to measure your life by Him

if you get too close to me i will let you down
just know that

i am sorry if i have ever put needless guilt on you or anyone else

why do i homeschool? because i think that is the only Bible ordained way to raise my children? no, i homeschool because we live a very full life and i value down time with my children and noah. we take mondays off. couldn't do that if the girls were in school. i love to teach the girls. it works for our schedule this year.

why do we eat healthy? ember. we do feel better.

why did we plant Kairos and why are we doing things this way? huddles mcs etc? because we are trying our best and feel God's called us to it. it's not the only right way. it's not the only right church.

there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Monday, December 1, 2014

The Advent Season Is Upon Us....

(a note I wrote to Kairos)

In reflecting tonight on our Worship Gathering, I had an assortment of seemingly jumbled, unconnected thoughts...the importance of meditating on and adhering to God's law...how good it is to participate in regular intervals of congregational (church family) worship....my kids' excitement at the homes with Christmas lights already up...Somehow I landed at how important it is for us, for Christ-followers, to take pause of the Christmas season before we find ourselves dazed on the doorstep of December 25th wondering where the time went!
What more can we expect from ourselves when the season is already wrought with extra familial engagements and gifts to be purchased and given? Oh of course we can add waxy advent chocolate calendars, coat drives, carols, Christmas plays, gifts for orphans, secret Santas, sugar cookies and decorations galore. All good things. But these elements in and of themselves are incomplete. They should be a byproduct, not a substitution for, the meaningful pause of the Advent season as we joyously look forward to the celebration of Christ's birth!
But, you may wonder, why should we pause? Why add another cookie to Santa's plate? 
We pause because we are a fickle people. We pause because we forget. We no longer engage in annual, week long festivals throughout the year as the ancient Israelites did, to celebrate and commemorate what the Lord has done and to anticipate what He will do. We no longer have to engage in the physical act of sacrifices and offerings as the priests did who went before us, visceral reminders of the sin separating us from God and the atonement made because of the poured out life of the slaughtered lamb. We do not pause, we do not see, we do not touch, we do not speak. We are a roaming, often unrooted and harried culture. We think that the here and now is all there is, that the family traditions and gift giving will make or break the season. 
...Yet we are called to partake in something more. 
We are a people set apart, holy, and to be firmly rooted in what Christ has done for us and the joyous occasion His entrance into that manger scene set into motion. We are commanded to open our mouths and tell of the great things He has done for us, loud and strong echoes of the words of our ancient brothers and sisters. We are still called to celebrate and commemorate, when we assemble together in Worship Gatherings, at Missional Communities and in the privacy of our homes, parents- first and foremost with our children! 
So, how? What does it look like to take a meaningful pause? 
We can begin with asking questions like: What did Christ's birth mean for the Israelites when the first angels appeared heralding the new born baby from the sky? What did it mean for all of humanity? For me individually? What does Jesus' birth mean for the way we live now and the glorious hope of the Kingdom to come? Too often we can leave the grand telling of the story of God's engagement with our world and His engagement with us up to Sunday school teachers or the Charlie Brown Christmas special. 
Pause. Take time to think. It might be uncomfortable, it might take work. But if you are looking to find space between minutes, to stretch this season so that you are fully in it and it's not just slipping through your fingers, take the time to wrestle this Christmas meaning out. Pause and invite your loved ones into unharried conversation, into searching the Scriptures or seeking God together with prayer and singing. Time slows when we are fully present with one another; time stands still when we are in the presence of God. 
Our children need to hear the Christmas story from us. Our children need to know that it is their story, that it's a story still relevant today, just as life giving and hope inspiring now as it was when it occurred those thousands of years ago. And it is often in the telling that we are reminded that it is still our story too.
....
For me, intentionally studying and participating in the Advent season each December becomes more meaningful with each passing year. I am looking forward to beginning again with my daughters tomorrow and with all of you as we worship together in the weeks leading up to Christmas. 
Here are two resources that I'm using now with my kids (the link below as well as Truth in the Tinsel). They might be a good fit for your family too if you have little ones, but if not I encourage you to seek something out that will help keep your mind and heart fixed on our Savior!

"then came Jesus" release from Lara Williams on Vimeo.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

to Kairos (Nov 2014): Bites of Brownies & Sacrifice

This weekend I was scheduled to bake for Kairos Quest. Normally I would have grabbed a baked good from the store (being pregnant, 3 little kids and lots of Sunday responsibilities makes weekend baking difficult) but due to our family's ever growing dietary restrictions, baking from scratch is our best bet. As I stood over the stove, shifting my weight from right to left and willing the baking chocolate to melt faster, thoughts of mothers and fathers thousands of years ago began to play in my mind. 

How many pregnant women with full and bustling lives and less amenities to make life happen had spent their time preparing offerings to The Lord from the best their kitchens had to offer? There IS something to the sacrifice. The giving of your time, your money, your skill your best. And even still, God is looking for this heart condition: O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you have no delight in sacrifice; if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken an contrite heart, o God, you will not despise. 


I have been thinking on this passage for a couple of weeks now. I prayed for myself yesterday to bake with a joyful heart, despite what would not get done around our home. I prayed for each little mouth that would bite into these brownies, that they would hopefully enjoy the taste of gluten free healthiness 😬, but most of all that they'd feel a sense of Gods love and get to encounter Him at our worship gathering. I prayed for our volunteers and our teachers and for future volunteers as well. And I prayed for all of you coming tonight, that the heart condition would be what matters most, for it is what makes the most of any encounter with God, be it prayer, worship, serving, or actively listening to the message. 

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Time

We have officially entered the season of Lent and many in our community from young to old are fasting beverages or facebook or sleep or any other number of comforts the Lord has impressed on hearts to sacrifice for more of Him.

Throughout these weakness-revealed 40 days, our Sundays' Worship Gatherings bring a heightened sense of celebration and relief as we break our fast for 24 joyful hours and thankfully acknowledge God and all that He has done for us.

It is in preparation for tonight's celebration that I find myself ruminating on a passage from Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts...
Thank God for the time, and very God enters that time, presence hallowing it. True, this, full attention slows time and I live the full moment, right to outer edges. But there's more. I awake to I AM here. When I'm present, I meet I AM, the very presence of a present God. In His embrace, time loses all sense of speed and stress and space and stands so still and ...holy.
 I have been fascinated with this word "present" as I find it quite elusive in my day to day life, yet it is a discipline He has called Noah and by association, myself, to pursue this year. Being present-minded for our children's sake and friends and family's sake has been a good and healthy endeavor, but it is also to encounter God at every turn....and it works. It's practicing the presence of God and it stretches and tames the unruly and running time, like God making the sun to stand still. 

Each time our church family gathers to worship, I pray for focus, for present-mindedness. For time to slow as we lay our burdens down and bow ourselves to our Creator. We will be singing these words of surrender tonight:

Lord as we turn to You, come free us from our sin.
We only have today, so let us now begin.

Lord as we give You more, Your Spirit swells within;
Cause You are Holy, Holy Lord

From dawn to dusk we're waking up...

Tomorrow's freedom is today's surrender;
We come before You, lay our burdens down.
We look to You as our hearts remember: 
You are the only God,
You are our only God.
-From Dawn to Dusk

Come ready to celebrate. Come ready to encounter Jesus. Come ready see time stand still. 

Sunday, February 9, 2014

The Train

There is something powerful about taking part in the unity of a crowd...

It's riding the wave with uninhibited concert goers as the music sweeps through and everyone sings the chorus at the top of their lungs. It's the members of a choir, breathing together and phrasing together and enunciating together, locked in to the conductor's swinging arm from the piece's start to it's finish. It's sitting at a desk in a classroom having a light bulb moment, connecting the information to reality, the teacher to the student and the students to each other. It's the poignant experience of the grieving crowd at a funeral who watches a life played out in a slideshow or the crowd in the waiting room as they celebrate the newest addition to the family. It's the room's response to Jesus after the prayer that seems to come from the heart of God Himself, touching each individual heart and the church as a whole.

This kind of captive, empathetic and participating audience always gives me the feeling of being on a train, headed to the same place, everyone sitting in the same car excited about the journey and engaged in the same conversation, viewing the same scenery albeit with different vantage points, and arriving at the same time. For those moments, everyone is present. The experience becomes significant and the unity gives a sense of strength and community. For those moments we are not alone.

This got me thinking of our Sunday Worship Gatherings...

Oh how I yearn for each moment we are together to be authentic encounters with Jesus, not just as isolated strangers but as a whole, as members of a family.

In singing, in giving our offerings of praise and money, in praying and listening and reciting Scripture, in setting up chairs and volunteering in the kids rooms, in advancing the slides and dimming the lights, setting out coffee and emptying trash cans, in greeting and handshaking and hugging and responding- in everything let us be of one mind and one heart. 

Jesus said (in John 17):
20 “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

The unity that Jesus speaks of transcends time and space and stretches to the days and places in between our weekly Sunday meetings. It's a unity of mission and beliefs and relationships with one another but I'm not sure we realize we should continue to pursue unity in our Worship Gatherings too! 

Let us resolve together to be unified in worship, fully present and fully engaged. Let's turn off our phones! Let's take every thought captive! We're singing a new song tonight about zeroing out distractions, focusing on God and letting down our walls.  The lyrics are simple,

"Come on my soul, 
come on my soul
Let down the walls 
and sing my soul

Come on, come on, 
come on, come on
It's time to look up"

Let us be unified so that Christ may be glorified and our brothers and sisters edified by our active participation in worshipping and responding to the Risen Lord.

...Come hop on the train. :)

Psalm 133:1
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!