Next

I know what I've said you are

I know what they've said you are

I know what you've said you are

But this kind of knowing 

Only takes us so far

And I love you

And you're still you underneath all those words

I'm worrying tonight

Connecting dots and making patterns

But I can't make out the design

In the dark

So I go back to the one who knows you

Better than anyone

To ask him 

How to love you, support you

In the best way I can

Cause he made me too

He'll know how we can be best of friends

He can make our hearts fit

In a complimentary design 

Spilled Milk

When my mind is fixed fully on Him

With space to allow us, God and I, 

To sit in silence

To pause, to breathe

I find the harder parts of child growing

Cannot weaken my resolve

...But I'm still learning 

See yesterday, the milk spilled.

So I sent daggers from my eyes 

To silence what was left of their joy

Subconscious expectations 

Daily invade my thoughts 

And weigh heavily on us both

Draped-gloom on tiny shoulders 

But He's creating a buffer for them

Around my old heart with His new 

He is stitching space to be

For when my mind and heart and strength are fixed

He supplies

My God supplies all of my needs

Not my children, they are free

It is my God

Come my darlings, 

Move freely around me despite the cup on the table ledge 

Because spilled milk, 

Really isn't so bad.

Pour out the cup that is grace-laced love 

Share in its abundance

For it's what grows the children up strong

It's what grows us up strong too

My Heart

for my little pink Clover

She is seven
Little freckled nose, eyes that laugh
Behind the seriousness with which she surveys the world
Jack-o-latern grin,
Loud laugh and flinging arms and elbows
Into twirls and leaps
And one little heart pierced ear

She has patiently waited.
She's grown three times as old
With each addition to the family
She moved over, out of my arms
She moved over, out of my bed
Away from my feet
Out of my gaze
To make room

Tonight I gathered her into my arms
Dusted off my lap
Folded herself up to fit
She lay her head on me

I tucked a piece of wild, sweet curls
Behind an ear I hadn't seen in a while
This one is unpierced
Filled in smooth after the earring fell out

Heart pierced breathing
There she is
My first baby
I trace her ear, I look in her grey-blue eyes
Baby mine

I choked out, I miss you
She cried too
How have I forgotten to hold her?
Though I rage at time for carrying her away
She carries my pride, my joy,
My heart

three miles per hour

the very old and the very young
are strategically placed
impediments to speed

the wise relinquish accelerating
taking their cues
to savor the view

Sunswept Waves

sunswept, salty
waves and curls

happy cries
of gulls and girls

shoreline sand
ebbs and flows

water dances,
splashing toes

snuggled skin
cooled and warmed

baby dozes,
memories form

children breaking
bread with birds

bend near sand
in earnest search

see the small
but mighty laugh'n 1

in the face
of mighty ocean

these finite moments
create space

so infinite love
can take it's place

1 loose reference to William Shakespeare's quote from A Midsummer Night's Dream, 
"Though she be but little, she is fierce!"

Awaken

Shut

Tight
Eye lids crunch
Hurt arms clutch
Shame

Shapes

Move
Beneath the lids
Beyond in shadows
Dim

Bump

Crash

They hurt and yet
They stumble blinded
Too

Cry 

Out
Try to squint
Eyes yell quit
Death

Light 

Streams 
Redemptive work

This seeing hurts

Grace

Abrasive
Blinding

Glaring

Jarring

More
Pain 

Tempers raise 

While light reclaims

Dark

Re-
Focus. 

Colors
Flood
Sharpened pain
And joy; Sustained
Love

Brave
Lens
Meets the gaze
Of the todays
Hope

Light
Spills 
And light reflects

Light reflects
Life 

Awake